We (those of us who are half of a couple) certainly do! I've lived both on my own and in relationships including marriage--each has its pros and cons, but I have at times felt more lonely with a partner sitting right next to me than when I've been alone... Like in Lilly's original post about her husband just heading downstairs to do his own thing and ignoring/minimizing her pain. When you are feeling misunderstanding, criticism, lack of empathy, etc. from the person who is supposed to be your biggest supporter, it can be very lonely, just a different kind of loneliness. I would not trade my family for anything, but I sometimes long for a day where nobody judges or misunderstands or makes demands on me, or even silently notices what I haven't done... And I silently notice them silently noticing.... Or completely minimizes my pain and negates my experience by a blanket denial like, "oh, I'm sure it's nothing and you'll be fine..." Um, no, it's NOT nothing and there's no guarantee that I will be fine.
Oops, did I accidentally rant for a minute there?!?
Just a little window to the grass on the other side of the fence. I certainly feel for you, Ackerman, and everything you've been through. I hope you are able to make some more connections with people and feel more supported in your journey. Great idea to provide information to friends; hopefully some will understand. It's amazing how much it can help when even one person tries their best to 'get it' and support you. The pub with live bands is a good idea too. Maybe you'll meet someone there who shares your interests. And this forum is amazing. I have quickly become addicted because nowhere else do people so completely understand what I'm going through... I hear you though about needing some in-person contact and I hope you find it. I wonder whether there are any support groups in your area? Arthritis, Wegs or even autoimmune diseases generally... That might be worth trying.
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Originally Posted by LisaT
We (those of us who are half of a couple) certainly do! I've lived both on my own and in relationships including marriage--each has its pros and cons, but I have at times felt more lonely with a partner sitting right next to me than when I've been alone... Like in Lilly's original post about her husband just heading downstairs to do his own thing and ignoring/minimizing her pain. When you are feeling misunderstanding, criticism, lack of empathy, etc. from the person who is supposed to be your biggest supporter, it can be very lonely, just a different kind of loneliness. I would not trade my family for anything, but I sometimes long for a day where nobody judges or misunderstands or makes demands on me, or even silently notices what I haven't done... And I silently notice them silently noticing.... Or completely minimizes my pain and negates my experience by a blanket denial like, "oh, I'm sure it's nothing and you'll be fine..." Um, no, it's NOT nothing and there's no guarantee that I will be fine.Acker
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